Perfectionism – the hidden enemy of mental health?

In a world where we measure a person's worth by the number of successes, followers, and accomplished goals, perfectionism seems like a virtue. Ambition, discipline, and attention to detail—these are, after all, traits that drive growth. But is it really true? A growing body of research shows that perfectionism can have a dark side—leading to burnout, depression, and physical problems. We speak with psychologist Jacek Białas about where healthy ambition ends and the destructive pursuit of perfection begins.

In a culture of success, perfectionism is often considered a virtue. But is it really always a positive thing?

Perfectionism has two faces. In its adaptive form, it can motivate, help maintain order, and pursue goals. The problem begins when striving for perfection becomes a compulsion rather than a choice. In psychology, we talk about maladaptive perfectionism —a state in which a person measures their self-worth by achievement, is unable to accept mistakes, and lives in constant tension. Such perfectionism doesn't support growth—it destroys it.

How can you tell if perfectionism is out of control?

This is often a subtle process. Perfectionism becomes dangerous when every mistake triggers shame, guilt, or paralyzing fear. Such people say, "Perfect or nothing." They often procrastinate because they fear failing to meet their own standards—this is called perfectionistic procrastination . Research by Professors Hewitt and Flett identifies three types of perfectionism:

• self-directed – when an individual demands unrealistically much from himself,
• directed at others – when he expects perfection from his surroundings,
• socially imposed – when she feels that others expect her to be flawless.

Each of these types can be a source of chronic stress if it exceeds a healthy level.

What health effects can living under such constant stress have?

Very serious. Perfectionists operate in a state of constant stress, which causes increased cortisol and adrenaline levels. Over time, this leads to nervous and hormonal exhaustion. Psychologically, we observe a greater risk of depression, anxiety disorders, insomnia, burnout, and even eating disorders. Physiologically, they experience headaches, gastrointestinal problems, decreased immunity, and even heart rhythm disturbances.

Where does this need to be “perfect” come from?

Usually from childhood. Children raised in an environment of so-called conditional love —where acceptance depends on performance ("I'll be proud of you if you get an A")—learn that their worth depends on what they achieve. Social patterns also play a role—the culture of comparison on social media, the pressure to succeed professionally, or to look perfect. In adulthood, such individuals often struggle to feel satisfied, even if they are objectively successful. They constantly think, "I could have done more."

So perfectionism is not only a personality trait, but also a defense mechanism?

Exactly. For many people, perfectionism is a way to cope with anxiety and a sense of lack of control. "If I get everything perfect, nothing bad will happen." It's an illusion of security, but in the long run, it costs a lot—in energy, relationships, and health.

How can you begin to break free from the perfectionism trap?

The first step is to recognize that perfectionism isn't a sign of strength, but often a form of fear and a need for control. It's worth examining the beliefs that drive it—for example, "if I don't do something perfectly, I'm a failure" or "a person's worth is measured by their results." Practicing self-compassion also helps, meaning treating yourself with kindness, even when you make mistakes. Perfectionists are often harder on themselves than on anyone else. It's worth practicing the "inner dialogue of a friend," which, instead of criticizing, supports. Another good exercise is the so-called "80 percent rule" —allowing yourself to do a task well, but not perfectly. This helps regain perspective and reduce tension. Over time, we learn that the world doesn't collapse when something isn't perfect—and that a person's worth doesn't depend on the outcome, but on intention and effort.

So is it possible to “transform” perfectionism into something positive?

Yes, if we learn to embrace its bright side. Adaptive perfectionism is the pursuit of quality and responsibility, but without guilt or fear. The point is to control perfectionism , not let it control us. For many people, a breakthrough moment is understanding that success isn't the absence of mistakes—but the ability to learn from them.

What would you say to someone who today feels they have to be “perfect” to deserve love or recognition?

I would say, "You are enough, even if you're not perfect." This statement may sound cliché, but for many of my patients, it's the beginning of healing. Perfectionism robs us of spontaneity and joy in life. After all, we weren't born to be perfect—we were born to be authentic.

Finally, what can we do today to protect our mental health from the pressure to be perfect?

First, rest without guilt. Second, realistic, imperfect goals. Third, openness to mistakes. It's also worth limiting exposure to content that induces comparison pressures, such as social media. And if we feel our perfectionism is spiraling out of control, don't be afraid to seek psychological help. It's an act of courage, not weakness.

Thank you for the interview